Only in the NCAA can something go from “Sweet” to “Elite” to “Final.” I think it’s time we look into changing up some of those labels. Here are my proposals:
Sweet Sixteen is OK because that works on different levels.
Elite Eight seems…well…elite. I don’t want to think of the players sitting around and drinking tea with their pinkies pointed up. Suggested alternatives: The Enlightened Eight; Eight ISN’T Enough; The E-mazing Eight; Super 8;
Final Four is misleading because there is technically another round played after that, so there really isn’t anything final about it. Suggested Alternatives: The Four Musketeers; The Fantastic Four (or The Fantastic Mr. Four for Wes Anderson fans); Four for Fighting; Four on the Floor;
Have you noticed that the Championship Game mentions nothing about only 2 teams being left in the competition? Why stop the naming thing at 4? Suggested Alternatives: Tantalizing Two; Turrible Two (a shout-out to Sir Charles); Two Enter, One Leaves;
The winner will be referred to as The One and Only; that is, until the following March.
Wisconsin Jones 